ryan-jerving

Ryan Jerving A page for uploading stuff toc =My Answers= To Style exercises

4.1.1
> In recent years, the appearance of new interpretations about the meaning of the discovery of America has led to a reassessment of Columbus’s place in Western history.
 * Original:**

> In recent years, as historians have reinterpreted the significance of how and by whom the Americas were discovered, they likewise have had to reassess where Columbus fits into Western history.
 * Revised:**

4.1.2
> A decision about forcibly administering medication in an emergency room setting despite the inability of an irrational patient to provide legal consent is usually an on-scene medical decision.
 * Original:**

> ER doctors and nurses often have to decide -- on the spot and on the fly -- whether they should administer medication by force in cases where an irrational patient cannot provide legal consent.
 * Revised:**

4.1.3
> Tracing transitions in a well-written article provides help in efforts at improving coherence in writing.
 * Original:**

> A writer can improve their own writing's coherence if they try to trace the transitions in a well-written article.
 * Revised:**

4.1.4
> Resistance has been growing against building mental health facilities in residential areas because of a belief that the few examples of improper management are typical.
 * Original:**

> County governments have met with growing resistance to their efforts to build mental health facilities in residential areas; residents are prone to believe that the few examples of badly managed facilities are typical.
 * Revised:**

4.1.5
> With the decline in network television viewing in favor of cable and rental DVDs, awareness is growing at the networks of a need to revise programming.
 * Original:**

> The television networks are beginning to realize that they will need to revise their programming if they hope to win back the viewers they have been losing to cable and rental DVDs.
 * Revised:**

4.3.1
> It is believed that a lack of understanding about the risks of alcohol is a cause of student bingeing.
 * Original:**

> We believe that students binge drink, in part, because lack understanding about the risks of alcohol.
 * Revised:**

4.3.2
> The model has been subjected to extensive statistical analysis.
 * Original:**

> We have subjected the model to extensive statistical analysis.
 * Revised:**

> We have extensively analyzed our statistical model.
 * Re-revised:**

4.5
> As you probably have heard, some U of X students have subjected other students to racial and sexual harassment over the last several weeks on our campus. The fact that students have been involved in similar incidents in campuses around the country does not make the actions any less offensive when students engage in them here. Of the ten to twelve incidents that student victims have reported to us since early October, most have involved graffiti or one student orally insulting another. In only two cases did students come into physical contact; and in neither case was a student injured.

> There is a campus-wide commitment to providing an environment conducive to living, working, and studying without fear of being taunted or harassed with respect to race, gender, religion, or ethnicity. Bigotry and intolerance will not be permitted; the commitment to diversity is unequivocal. Steps have also been taken to improve security in campus housing. There is a proud tradition of diversity here.

5.1.1
Two aims -- the recovery of the American economy and the modernization of America into a military power -- were **in the president's mind when he assumed the office.** The drop in unemployment figures and inflation, and the increase in the GNP testifies to **his success in the first**. But our increased involvement in international conflict without any clear set of political goals indicates **less success with the second**. Nevertheless, increases in the military budget and a good deal of saber rattling **pleased the American voter**.
 * Original**

When **the president** assumed office, he had in mind **two aims**: the recovery of the American economy and the modernization of America into a military power. With respect to **the first of these goals**, **he** succeeded, as is attested by the drop in unemployment figures and inflation, and the increase in the GNP. With respect to the **second goal**, **he** was less successful, as is indicated by our increased involvement in international conflict without any clear set of political goals. Nevertheless, the **American voter** was pleased by **his** increases to the military budget and a good deal of saber rattling.
 * Revised**

5.1.2
The components of Abco's profitability, particularly growth in Asian markets, will be highlighted in our report to demonstrate its advantages versus competitors. Revenue returns along several dimensions -- product type, end-use, distribution channels, etc. -- will provide a basis for this analysis. Likely growth prospects of Abco's newest product lines will depend most on its ability in regard to the development of distribution channels in China, according to our projections. A range of innovative strategies will be needed to support the introduction of new products.
 * Original**

Our report will demonstrate Abco's advantages versus competitors by highlighting the components of Abco's profitability, particularly growth in Asian markets. Our analysis will be based on revenue returns along several dimensions: product type, end-use, distribution channels, etc. According to our projections, Abco's newest product lines have their best chance for growth if Abco can develop its distribution channels in China. To introduce new products there, Abco will need the support of a range of innovative strategies.
 * Revised**

5.2.1
Vegetation covers the earth, except for those areas continuously covered with ice or utterly scorched by continual heat. Richly fertilized plains and river valleys are places where plants grow most richly, but also at the edge of perpetual snow in high mountains. The ocean and its edges as well as in and around lakes and swamps are densely vegetated. The cracks of busy city sidewalks have plants in them as well as in seemingly barren cliffs. Before humans existed, the earth was covered with vegetation, and the earth will have vegetation long after evolutionary history swallows us up.
 * Original**

Vegetation covers the earth, except for those areas continuously covered with ice or utterly scorched by continual heat. Plants grow best in richly fertilized plains and river valleys, but also at the edge of perpetual snow in high mountains. Dense vegetation characterizes the ocean and its edges and also occupies the area in and around lakes and swamps. Plants take hold in the cracks of busy city sidewalks and in seemingly barren cliffs. Vegetation covered the earth before humans existed, and vegetation will cover the earth long after evolutionary history swallows us up.
 * Revised**

5.2.2
The power to create and communicate a new message to fit a new experience is not a competence animals have in their natural states. Their genetic code limits the number and kind of messages that they can communicate. Information about distance, direction source, and richness of pollen in flowers constitutes the only information that can be communicated by bees, for example. A limited repertoire of messages delivered in the same way, for generation after generation, is characteristic of animals of the same species, in all significant respects.
 * Original**

Animals in their natural state do not have the power to create and communicate a new message to fit a new experience. What they can communicate -- the number and kind of messages -- is limited by their genetic code. Bees, for example, can only communicate information about distance, direction source, and richness of pollen in flowers. Animal species are characterized by a limited repertoire of messages delivered in the same way, for generation after generation.
 * Revised**

5.2.3
The importance of language skills in children's problem-solving ability was stressed by Jones (1985) in his paper on children's thinking. Improvement in nonverbal problem solving was reported to have occurred as a result of improvements in language skills. The use of previously acquired language habits for problem articulation and activation of knowledge previously learned through language are thought to be the cause of better performance. Therefore, systematic practice in the verbal formulation of nonlinguistic problems prior to attempts at their solution might be an avenue for exploration in the enhancement of problem solving in general.
 * Original**

Jones (1985) stressed the importance of language skills in children's problem-solving ability. He found that when language skills improved there was a resulting improvement in nonverbal problem solving as well. This improved performance is thought to result when children use language habits they have acquired previously to articulate problems and to activate knowledge they learned through language previously. are thought to be the cause of better performance. Therefore, people who hope to enhance their problem solving skills in general might explore, systematically, the practice of verbalizing nonlinguistic problems attempting to solve them.
 * Revised**

Carly Marwitz's example
As seen in “Compositions as Explanation” Stein sees time as a rather fluid construct that can be subverted by the participants of any particular time. Her fascination reflected in “Picasso” with time and the present may have a dual inspiration. Either she believes that the present and time is stretched to fill a need and once that need is fulfilled or changes than it ends and progresses into the next time or she believes that the present is an unattainable description of time in that as each moment passes so does the present so it is never really obtainable because it is always falling into the past.
 * Original**

As we find in “Composition as Explanation,” [Gertrude] Stein sees time and the present, not as a given facts of nature, but rather as something we make up as we go along: a fluid construct that the participants of any particular time can subvert. This constructed, fragile quality of the present is likewise the object of Stein's fascination in “Picasso” -- a fascination that may imply one of two things. Either Stein believes that we stretch time and the present to fill a need (and that the present comes to an end once that need is fulfilled or changes), or Stein believes that we can never really attain the present in time because, as each moment passes, the present is always already falling into the past.
 * Revised**